Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Randomize
