i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Randomize
