is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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