it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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