i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
