Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
nutella sex= disaster
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Randomize
