is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
