i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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