I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
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