GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
