I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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