walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
