you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
there is glitter all over my balls
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