whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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