i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Randomize
