Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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