I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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