I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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