oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
