I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
