can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
