Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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