OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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