I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Randomize
