Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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