Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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