office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
