just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize
