matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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