I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize
