I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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