I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
