if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
