We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I would ride that face into the sunset
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
