Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
