I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
