god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
