I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
