3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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