I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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