I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
