Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
high people should be assigned attendants
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
