there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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