Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
