I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Randomize
