we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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