I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
