I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
