is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
