The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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