I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
