yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
