omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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