I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
